hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
