We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
