She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
