i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
