Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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