Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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