If i come over, it means nothing
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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