Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
