if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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