So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize