I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We need a shit load of segways right now
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
