apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
