I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Your topless pictures make me question reality
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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