dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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