I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize