oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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