At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
