so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
