Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
