I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
