Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize