Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
