Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
