i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
