What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize