But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize