roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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