He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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