My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
