i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
