I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
