yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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