As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
