Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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