This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
