This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
