happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
