A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
