Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
