you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
