You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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