OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
