i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
