So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
