My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
