I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
