I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
