suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
