Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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