I should be sponsored by Trojan
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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