Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
