Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
