They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
