Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
