I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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